


Locket.

by Icefire87



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asylum, Boys In Love, Crazy Boys, Depressed Harry, Depressed Liam, Depressed Niall, Don't Examine This Too Closely, Fluff and Angst, Hiding Medical Issues, I Made Myself Cry, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, Insane Harry, Insane Niall, Insanity, M/M, Martini must be a Narry thing, Medical Inaccuracies, Necklaces, Niall Styles, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Paranoia, Personality Disorders, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Rings, Sadness, Schizophrenia, Sociopath Niall Horan, Suicide, Therapist Louis, YES EVEN THIS STORY HAS MARTINIS, locket, martinis, no smut sorry guys, so many chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:16:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icefire87/pseuds/Icefire87
Summary: They're crazy.  Completely crazy, and even if it should be impossible. They're in love.What can I say?They have a cruel fate written out for them.I held the locket in my hand, promising myself I'd never forget what had happened here.-Louis Tomlinson





	1. O

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this goes over well.  
> This is not okay, not one bit.  
> Good luck, stay safe while reading.  
> Also sorry Idk too much about the disorders OR a mental facility.  
> Don't be offended k?

I won't lie. I was happy walking into the hospital. I was happy and excited. People said a few weeks here would cure me, or at the very least make them go away.  
Unfortunately, I quickly realized they'd followed me. The nurse walked beside me, escorting me to my room and we turned down a hallway and he was there. The same demon that had followed me around for almost a year. In the ink-black of his skin, a smile opened up and he waved tauntingly at me. I jumped back and the nurse turned around to look at me.  
"Is everything alright?" She couldn't see him, big surprise, no one ever could.  
"Y-yeah," I stuttered, "Let's just get to the room." I picked up my pace and the nurse matched it. Before long, we finally made it to the room I'd be sleeping in.  
"Alright, we'll give you a few minutes to get settled, then we'll be right back to give you your check-up." The nurse smiled politely and left the room.  
I looked around at the other three boys in the room.  
"H-hi," I said to them.  
One of them put down the book he was reading and sat up, offering me a handshake.  
"Hi, I'm Liam. Welcome," he was smiling brightly. He didn't even look sick at all.  
"Thanks… I'm Harry."  
"Harry huh? That’s an interesting name." One of the other boys interrupted us.  
"I'm Niall." He paused and smiled a little. "The sociopath"  
The last boy, who was sitting up in his bed, shuddered a little and kept his eyes concentrated on the sheets, he was just staring.  
"That's Zayn, be careful to him, he has paranoia," Liam said after Niall had finished his introduction.  
"Oh… might I ask what you have?"  
Liam didn't miss a beat, he just smiled as sweetly as before.  
"No need, I don't want you bothering your head with it."  
"Oh…" I said.  
He just nodded to me, and I took the only unused bed.  
"So, what brings you here?" Niall said. His bed was closest to mine, as each bed was in a corner of the room.  
I struggled to remember the name of my disorder, for some reason it always slipped my mind, as if I'd made myself forget there was something wrong with me.  
"Schizophrenia," I said after a long pause.  
"It means I see things."  
"Sounds fun," Niall said coldly, staring up at the ceiling.  
"No! not at all," I said, rather defensively.  
"Eh, wanna trade?" He looked over at me and I saw in his numbness in his ice-blue eyes, no feeling at all.  
I felt sorry for him.  
The room had gone silent except incessant droning of the fan.  
"You know, a funny thing about sociopaths, we feel emotion, we just don't care about what others feel." He said, looking up at the ceiling again.  
"I'm so sorry," I said without thinking.  
This seemed to have caught him off guard.  
"Sorry? It's okay, I've lived like this for years." He sat up and looked at me. His icy blue eyes were just as dead inside. He wasn't trying right now, that was clear. I almost thought for a second I saw a flicker of feeling in his eyes. But it was gone faster than the days where I was stable.  
"In any case, the nurse will be here soon. Try to relax."  
I did what he said and laid down on the bed. It wasn't very comfortable, but the nurse arrived in a few minutes.  
"Alright Harry, please follow us." She said.  
I simply stood up and nodded, looking back at the boys in the room a second before leaving.


	2. U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's perspective

I’d been sent here because they believed I could be helped. They told me it was only minor, and that with some treatment- such that it was, I could be “fixed”. I’ve been here for months, but I have seen no change and felt even less of one. I’d convinced myself it was too late to change anything. What people can’t seem to realise is that I'm just wired differently.   
But, that changed today. Something they’ve been doing had to be working, or at least helping. The new boy who came today, Harry was his name. I found myself wanting to care about him. He seemed like a nice person, too easy to manipulate, way too trusting. Still, something about him reminded me of sweet feelings I hadn’t felt in at least a decade. It wasn’t much, but I really, truly I could care about him. Either way, it didn’t matter. He’d be out of here soon enough, or I would be.   
I stood up from the uncomfortable bed and took a few steps toward the door.   
“Where are you going?” Zayn said to me.   
“Just going for a walk, that alright?” I said, glaring back behind me.  
“Y-yes, sir.” He looked down again.   
When I first got here, I decided I’d have to make him scared of me, that way he’d never get in my way of anything. Liam was too nice to do anything of the sort. He’s also very depressed, so if I was doing anything self-destructive he might just follow behind me.   
A dark thought, but true nonetheless. Without any logic, I snuck out of the room, walking to the “nurse” office, where they were giving Harry his little “check-up”. They’d just be taking a blood sample. I looked through one of the windows without going into the room.   
He seemed panicked. Was it the blood drawn that scared him? Did he see something in it? I still didn't know why I cared. Or why I wanted to care so bad. Perhaps they were fixing me. It didn't matter though. I just kept looking in the room. He seemed to have calmed down, at least a little. No one seemed to notice me, which was good. I didn’t want to have to deal with people at the moment. If I remembered correctly after this he’d get to meet his doctor, I wondered who it would be.   
I kept watching and then saw Dr.Tomlinson enter the room. Made sense, he was my doctor and took care of most of the boys in this facility.   
I couldn’t hear them and I knew they’d be going to another room soon enough, so I ran right out of there and back to the room.  
“Welcome back,” Liam said, smiling again. His eyes looked red as if he really needed to cry but had forced himself not too.   
“Thanks.” I waved a little at him and sat back on the bed. Before long, it would be lights out. I look at the little watch on my wrist. I’d stolen it from my mum just before she’d sent me here, locked me up because I was dangerous.   
I really wasn’t. I had no need to hurt anybody, but stick the title sociopath on anyone and suddenly they’re a scary monster.   
I’d be meeting with the doctor tomorrow, the only person in the whole hospital still fighting to help me. Honestly, he’s the crazy one.   
Harry came into the room then, he looked around. He was paler than before, he looked like he’d seen something.   
“Hey again…” He said, looking around the room.  
“Hi!”, “Sup” and a weak “Hey” were his answers. I was honestly surprised Zayn even bothered with a greeting but to each their own.   
“It’ll be lights out soon. I’ll get you a change of clothes.” Liam said, opening the small panel in the wall that sufficed as a closet.   
“Thanks.” He went to the bathroom and returned dressed in the nightshirt he’d given him.   
In so many ways, everything was the same, even with a fourth person here. Linda- one of the nicer hospital staff came in a told us lights out.


	3. R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's perspective

I couldn’t sleep too well. I didn’t expect to be able to, new settings always took a few days to get used to. Especially with that obnoxious creaking noise that no one else seemed to be bothered by. The worst thing is when you can’t even tell if it’s real or not.  
I’ve surprisingly been able to have control of my mind all today, I can still hear him whispering to me. Asking me to relinquish control and let him win. He was my internal demon, but my friends had always told me I was stronger than him, which is the only reason I bother fighting. I looked up at the ceiling, but quickly looked to my left when I saw him creeping around Niall. He seemed interested, but soon got bored and stalked over to me. He attacked me with his razor-sharp claws, and I could feel the pain on my face, so I let out a little yelp. I swear I could feel the blood dripping down.  
Fortunately, I only woke Niall, who rolled over and glared at me. The monster disappeared into my mind and started screaming at me. I wasn’t going to give in yet, instead, I just dug my nails deep into the flesh on my arms, trying to grasp reality. I was in a panic, enough so that Niall stood up from his bed and looked at me, confused.   
“Get him away from me!” I whispered into the room which was getting colder by the second. Niall walked over to me and looked down on me. I couldn’t see him too well, but I was assuming he’d had those same cold eyes as before.   
“Harry? What’s going on?” he seemed curious in me as if I was a point of interest to him. I must be, being in this hospital must be boring for him. My thoughts were starting to drown him out, I wouldn’t have to show anyone him just yet, I could still be me.  
“N-Nothing. Sorry…” I said to Niall, looking down.   
“Hey, don’t be. It’s alright. Mind telling me?” He said as he sat down on the bed, and I noticed the demon’s voice was finally gone, for now at least.   
I felt drawn to him, I wanted to hug him and thank him.   
“I… He came back, that's all, he attacked me, am I bleeding?” I cringed as I realized I couldn’t be. It was impossible. Even so, I felt Niall's smooth fingers brush my cheek and down my chest and arms.   
“A few marks on your arms…” I felt him licking my arms where I’d dug my nails into.   
“Just a little blood.” He said as he finished. I was completely shocked.  
“Why did you do that…?” I said, feeling awkward, dizzy and scared.  
“Why not?” He said, taking on a much more casual tone.  
“Okay then…” I whispered, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.   
I think I was starting to fall for him. I’d liked him at first sight, but now seeing such an interesting person inside, I was drawn to him. I hugged him and I think he hugged me back. He gave my back a little pat like you would a crying child.   
“Thanks,” I said to him.  
“What for?” I swear I could hear a smile in his words.  
“Helping me,” I responded. “Even if you didn’t know it.” It’s true, he’d cleared my mind substantially. I also didn't hear the creaking, which led me to believe it was- in fact- in my head all along.   
“Okay, I’m going to bed, to try to sleep again, if you need anything, let me know.” He said, seeming really kind.   
“Thanks.” I closed my eyes and started feeling tired after the screams had stopped I realised just how exhausted I was. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, I knew I’d be seeing Niall in my dreams.


	4. C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's Perspective

I couldn’t believe it, but I somehow found myself caring about Harry. I had no reason too about this boy, who’d likely be gone soon, but I found myself caring a bit more about him each day. He’d broken something in my mind and created a little place to rest there. I thought about him often, honestly, he was the first person I’d given this much thought to. I kept talking to him, because, even if this small lapse in my disorder didn’t last, I figured he’d at least keep me somewhat entertained. The funny thing about him was, sometimes he’d be the sweet boy I’m used to, but others he’d be a wild bold character. This side of him was rare though. Either way, I found myself chatting longer and longer with him, not wanting to leave his side.   
“Hey, they have smoothies today, do you want to get a couple?” I said to him, on Tuesday afternoon, just 6 days after his arrival.  
“Sure.”   
Zayn and Liam were playing football with some of the other patients, so we didn't invite them. I got a mango one and Harry got the strawberry.   
“Good isn't it?” I said to him, sipping it.  
“Yeah, these are like mum used to make.” He said, looking down at his feet.   
“Do you miss her?” I said without thinking.  
“A lot… but I’m so far from my family nowadays. It’s hard.” He rest his cheek on his palm. He looked almost... cute like that.   
“Hey, cheer up,” I said, flashing him a delicate smile.  
He rolled his eyes, but I saw his face lift itself a little.   
“Let’s go back to our room to finish these okay?” I said, standing up.   
“Yeah, that sounds nice, especially to get away from…” He paused again. “Sorry, you don’t want to hear about it do you?”  
“Honestly, it doesn't bother me, whatever you need.”   
“Thanks,” He said as we started walking back to the room.   
Harry went in first and stopped dead in his tracks.  
“N...Ni…?” He was shaking a bit, I was surprised he hadn't dropped his smoothie. “Is that real?” He whispered.   
I pushed him a little out of the way and saw Liam’s dead body on the ground.  
“I’m afraid so…” I said.   
I looked down on him, knowing I should feel bad, he’d been there and cheered me up when I was sad, but somehow looking down at his lifeless pale skin, I felt nothing.   
Riley, the nurse was speed walking by with a panicked look on her face. She stopped when she saw us.   
“Go on to the doctor's office, we’re sorry to drag you into this.” She said. I’d expected nothing less.   
“Come on Harry let’s go” I grabbed his arm, but I knew he wasn’t there.   
I pulled him outside where Zayn was. He didn’t seem to know Liam’s fate. I decided I wouldn’t be the one to break it to him, that's someone else’s job.  
I looked at Harry for a second and knew it wasn’t the sweet boy Harry, it was his other side.   
“Something the matter?” He said, looking over at Zayn.  
“Nope,” He was smiling as he took a sip of red Gatorade. He seemed to really enjoy the sport. I did too, but Harry didn’t seem to want to, that's the only reason I stayed behind.   
Riley walked out of the room and took both me and Harry to a room. She had a chat with us separately.   
Honestly, it felt like she was accusing me of killing him. I ended up piecing the puzzle together, he’d overdosed on anti-depressant pills. It was a shame, I would miss the funny things he said, but it wasn’t any different, and I knew it wouldn’t ever be.   
Harry’s interview was shortened due to his disorder. He, or the version of himself he is right now, has no memories of Liam’s fate. I sighed and joined Zayn in the field, they’d only pulled us aside to make sure we were feeling okay. I wondered where Harry went, I didn’t get to see him until later that night.


	5. R

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrys' perspective.

The “real” Harry has been gone all day. It's been me. Honestly, I think he’s stupid for landing us in here. I do wonder what made him give up control so easily. I looked around and I noticed the room was a bit more empty seeming, one of the boys wasn’t here. I hadn’t even learned the named fo the other two, just Niall’s. So I pulled Niall aside that night ad asked him  
“Hey, the room feels a bit more empty, did I miss something?”   
When Zayn heard me he shuddered a little. It was clearly something bad.   
“Harry, Liam’s gone. He overdosed, that’s all.”  
“Oh,” I responded. I felt the other personality clawing itself to take over my mind. I had no choice, I closed my eyes and everything went black.

I woke up for the first time since seeing Liam’s body.   
“Was that r-really real?” I stuttered, Zayn and Niall seemed confused, I guess “he” had said something to them.   
“Yes Harry, It’s real,” Niall said, looking up from his book for a moment. I couldn’t help myself, I started crying. Partly over him, but partly out of fear.  
What if I ended up the same way? Or even worse… I saw bloody detailed images flash in front of me.  
The worst ones were of Niall. I was terrified of those shattered bones and bloody body. He saw me crying and put down his book, he sat beside me. He pulled me close to him.  
“Hey, stop crying.” He pulled me against his chest and I sniffled a bit.  
“I-I’m sorry. It’s just…” I said, finally gaining will to open my eyes. I heard some whispering, but it was quiet enough to tune out.  
“Don’t apologise.” He kissed my forehead.   
I jumped a little.   
“Oh, sorry? Too much?” He said, looking down at me. I was pretty much laying on his lap. I finally noticed Zayn in the corner staring at us with a look of ‘wtf’ on his face.   
“It’s a long story,” Niall answered calmly.   
“I see,” He responded.   
One of the nurses walked by, she stopped a little bit.   
“You okay Harry?”   
Without thinking, I answered. “Now I am.”  
“Okay then… just coming by to tell you lights out…” the nurse seemed weirded out and confused. I really didn’t care, I just kept cuddling Niall. He must be some sort of magic, he pacified the voices and shattered the nightmares.   
“I love you” I whispered after the room had gone dark.  
“I know.” He whispered back. He played with my hair. “I’m trying to love you too.”   
It made me sad to know some people just couldn’t feel love like I could. But what I didn’t understand was why he didn’t just lie. If he wanted a relationship with me, he’d have no issue lying. So, why did he say that?   
What’s the point in thinking about things like this? I can’t change anything, I know.   
I was still laying in his lap, I kissed his thigh and he laughed a little.   
“Cute.” He said. He felt so charming that anyone would fall in love instantly.   
I fell asleep in his lap, much like a pet would in its owner’s.


	6. U

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's Perspective

I had to slowly put Harry on the pillow so I didn’t wake him. I didn’t expect the staff to react well to two boys sleeping together. In any case, the bed were far too small for that. We’d be pretty much laying on each other… maybe that wouldn’t be so bad?   
Where did that thought come from? I shook my head and laid down on my bed. For once I was thankful to be seeing Dr.Tomlinson tomorrow, I had a few things I needed to say. 

“Ah, welcome Niall, take a seat,” He said.   
“Thanks,” I smiled at him. He seemed to like my smiles, unlike most of the staff here.  
“How’s it going Niall?” he said, sitting in the same chair he always did.  
“Not bad, hey, Dr.Tomlinson, I have to ask you something.”  
“Anything.” He nodded.  
“Is it possible I’m in love?” I said, cutting straight to the point.  
“I… I don’t know. I’d like to think so.” He had a hopeful tone to his voice. “Why do you ask?”   
“Just someone, I can’t explain why or how, but I actually care about hi- her.” I tried to play it off as stuttering. I didn’t want to reveal the gender just yet.  
“Him? It’s fine if it’s a boy Niall, I’m not one to judge.” Oh, so he did hear me.  
I smiled a little, hoping I’d get a reaction. “It’s the new boy, Harry.”   
Instead of being surprised he just laughed. “Yes, one of the nurses mentioned it last night, I wasn’t going to bring it up.” He smiled again.   
“So, does this mean I'm getting fixed?” I said, unsure of how to word it.  
“Well, you’ll never be completely fixed, at this point I don’t think you’d want to be, but I think you’re taking a step in the right direction. With any luck, we’ll be able to get you released.”   
“Hey, hold on. Maybe I don’t want to leave.” I said.   
“Why wouldn’t you want to leave?” He said, writing something down on his clipboard.  
“Because, this is the first time I’ve felt this way since I was a kid, Don’t separate us.”  
“You can still visit him you know, but I don’t think you really should stay longer than you need.” He said, nodding at me.   
I sighed. “I do miss the world.”   
“Well, as of now, I can help you.” He pulled out a locket out of his pocket.   
“I found this when I was a young child, playing in a garden with my sister. I can put your photos in it.”  
“You’d do that for me?” I said, sceptical.  
“Of course. I have no use for it,” he said, hodding at me.  
“Wow, thanks.” I grasped the locket. It was old and feminine, not something I’d ever wear, hopefully, Harry had a different perspective on it.   
He slid the pictures in the locket.   
“Once again, thank you.” I smiled at him.   
“It’s my pleasure. As I said, you’ll get more use out of it than I ever did.” I nodded to him and my therapy session progressed as usual.   
I was getting warmer to Harry, and slowly starting to love him, but at the same time, I was drifting further away from everyone else. He didn’t need to know the last part though, I’d be able to leave, and it wouldn’t be so bad if I could visit Harry.   
The session ended and it was dinner time. I looked at my old watch. It was 6:04   
I sat beside Harry and he barely seemed to respond to anything. He was clearly just getting sicker and sicker.  
“Harry?”   
“What?” He practically growled at me.  
“Nothing.”   
“Wait, Ni!” He said, acting more like himself.   
I just looked at him questioningly.  
“I’m sorry, I just… It’s hard you know?”   
I don’t know... sorry.” I said. After a long pause, I said to him. “Hey, I got something for you, hope you like it. May I?” I said showing him the locket.   
He looked into my eyes, finally focusing on something real. He just nodded simply.   
I clipped it on behind him. He opened it and looked at the pictures of us. He hugged me then, likely unaware that we were surrounded by other patients.


	7. E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrys' Perspective.

I’m getting so much healthier. While it’s true, I’m less in control of myself than I ever have been before, I can tell what's real and not, and that's all thanks to Niall. I deeply need him, he’s the best medicine I could ever hope for. Before long, I’d be on my way. My memories felt like they were shifting, blocking out bad ones, and altering for the better. It only bothered me when I’d walk into a room, expecting it to be something and it wasn’t.   
I couldn’t manage to eat much. I just wasn’t hungry anymore. The nurses made me eat some, I always felt kind of sick after.   
“Thanks, Niall,” I said, playing with the locket. I opened it up and looked. It was two pictures of us, one on each side of the locket. It was pretty and seemed to glow in the setting sunlight.   
“Hm? Oh, you’re welcome” He said, smiling at me.   
I smiled back at him and cleared my head enough so I could try to talk to Zayn who sat across from us. Ever since Liam’s… I didn’t want to think about it.   
"Careful Harry, you're going crazy," something said tauntingly. I knew it was best to ignore them, but I found myself gripping Niall's hand under the table for support.  
"Hey Zayn," I, said to him, trying to focus on something usually helped.  
"Oh, hey." He seemed more aloof than usual. It almost made me wonder what was going on in his head.  
"You alright? You've been pretty quiet." I noted out loud, hoping he could hear me.  
"Same as always, the doctors said they might be moving me to another facility, one more focused on my disorder and people like me." He smiled a bitter smile. "If you haven't noticed we're just the people they didn't know what to do with."  
"Don't be so cynical Zayn, anyway yeah, they were thinking about releasing me, or working out some kind of outpatient system," Niall said. The second he did he turned and looked at me, expecting a reaction. I was already gone.  
I saw him being forcibly pulled away from me. They threatened me to stay back. I quickly shut down

Niall was looking at me expectantly.  
"What? Uh… what are we talking about?"   
Niall shook his head and sighed.   
"Nothing don't worry."  
"Niall, here thinks he's going to be getting out, I'd say he's delusional."  
"Niall… you'll really be leaving? I… I don't want you to leave"   
"I can visit you, it won't be that bad."   
"Promise me you will if you leave."  
"Okay, I promise." He smiled at me and I smiled back. When I felt like this, who knows? Maybe everything won't be so bad. I ate the rest of my dinner, it was pretty good. It almost tasted like Harry's cooking, I wonder if he had made it. 

After dinner, I went on a little walk with Niall. There was a well-kept garden, some of the patients maintained it. It was pretty and had a nice large circular path, so you could walk forever. We had about an hour before we'd have to go in, so we walked in circles around the flowers.  
"Their beautiful aren't they?" I said to him, playing with the delicate petals of one of the roses.  
"Yeah," he stopped in his tracks.  
"You know Harry, it's all the little things that have made me saner. The cute little things you do. Harry, I don't know how you've done it, but you've… changed me." He turned around and grabbed my hands.   
"All these little things add up to something so much bigger, they add up to you" he pulled me in for a kiss and I happily obliged. When he finally pulled back, I noticed I was crying.   
"Why am I crying…?" I said, wiping my tears.  
"You're hurt. Really badly." He fluffed my hair.   
"Let it out baby, let it out" he hugged me as I laid on his shoulder, miserable once again.  
"We're going to make it out of this, together right?" I said, my false confidence showing.  
"I hope so." He cuddled me, gripping me and shielding me as he had before.


	8. L

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's Perspective

Time passed quickly. Before I knew it, Dr.Tomlinson had cleared me for outpatient, meaning I'd be fine to be in the outside world but I'd have to come back here once every 2 weeks, to make sure I was still 'sane'.   
Zayn's last day was today. He was still terrified of me, a habit he'll likely never grow out of. At this point, I didn't care what he thought. Deep down, all I wanted was Harry, the boy who gave me a quick lapse in my insanity. Insanity is a cruel word, and inaccurate for me. I'm sane, just… a little off. Right?   
Of course not. In any case, tomorrow I'd be leaving. I'd have to say goodbye.   
I was watching Harry sleep the night it was just us two. We'd lost Liam, and Zayn and left. I ended up poking up and waking him up, he was moving around a lot.  
He gave me a hug quickly as if I'd woken him up from a bad dream.  
"Hey," I said, petting his hair again.  
"H-hey…" he answered.   
"What's wrong?"   
"J-just another nightmare. Of losing you."  
I smiled at him. "It's okay, I've told you, I'll visit you."  
"Right. I know its just…" he was on the edge of tears it seemed.  
"Something bad could happen to you"   
"I'll make you a promise, I’ll take good care of myself. I'll see you when you get out okay?" I promised him.  
"Okay…" he murmured.  
"But while I'm still here…" I kissed him again, sucking on his tongue softly. He almost moaned when I did so.  
"I'm glad you like it so much," I said, winking at him. The room was really dark. The only light was a small night lamp in the bathroom.  
"I love you," he said.   
I hesitated, trying to decide if I was lying or not. Did it really matter?   
"I love you too," I said back. I held him in my arms. I really think I mean it. I want to mean it. I wanted something real- just like he did.  
Morning came before I knew it and I was leaving.   
I turned around and looked back to our room. It is so strange how, just 3 weeks ago it was full, but one by one…  
The second I said goodbye I started to miss him. I climbed in the taxi and left the place I'd called my 'temporary home' for 3 months now.   
Our last kiss is still in my mouth.


	9. F

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrys' Perspective

I had my chat with the doctor today. I was starting to forget names. Tompson? Linson? Tomlinson? The last one felt right.   
Life just wasn't the same without Niall… or Zayn… or Liam… or Harry.   
Wait, I'm Harry. I'm still here. I'm still okay.   
My head has lately been such a jumbled mess of thoughts, I haven't bothered talking to anyone.  
I think I overheard some nurses talking about me, and how concerned they were. They said I'm 'deteriorating' whatever that means. Honestly, I feel better than I did when I was constantly running from my demons. I've been-  
"Harry? Are you ready for your appointment?"  
"Sure," I answered as calmly as ever.

"Ah, Harry, how are you doing"  
"Alright, it's about the same as always"   
He nodded slowly as if waiting for something. Suddenly I felt the floor of my mind slide out from under my feet.

I broke down in that room. "it's only getting worse, oh lord let this end" I hid my face from him. He just looked over at me, still concerned.  
"Hey, it's going to be okay. I'm here to help. What's going on?"  
"I miss Niall! A lot. He was the one thing that stopped the… everything. He kept me f-from" I coughed for a couple of seconds. "Going c-crazy. And without him… I… I don't even want to be alive."   
"It's okay to feel this way Harry, but you have to remember, you'll see him again, and you're strong enough to get through this." The doctor said.  
I'd like to think I was strong, but I knew I wasn't. I was nothing. I am nothing.  
I tried to do the activities, the things I used to find fun, but even baking, had lost its charm.


	10. A

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's Perspective

The first place I went, was a bar. A bar and grill. I ordered a martini and a steak. I'd honestly forgot what martinis taste like, but I'd gotten the steak because I knew they'd be having steak back at the hospital.   
A man next to me, who was a little drunk looked over to me and said  
"Well damn, what's your story?"  
I had to admit, I hadn't put much effort into how I looked today.  
"Long story, lost a few friends, missing someone. And being, well, insane"   
"Uh… okay," he ignored my rant, passing me off as a child. Which was fine, less effort for me. I ate my steak and thought about Harry the whole time. I ended up drinking 3 or 4 glasses, but by then I was out of it. Being drunk was always fun, I could be as stupid as I liked. I started singing along to the radio they played. It was some song about love or something. Just some song about people who needed each other.  
I needed someone.  
I'm sure he needed me.  
Tomorrow, as soon as the hangover is gone.   
Tomorrow…   
I blacked out on the sidewalk.


	11. T

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harrys' Perspective

They'd moved me to a new room.   
I didn't even notice the difference

I think it was night time when it got the worst. I was sitting there, thinking about Liam  
I wish he hadn't given…  
I miss Niall! I wish…   
up his life like he did. it just…   
he was here, he'd make it…   
hurt me to know so many people…   
feel okay. But deep down…   
were hurting enough they'd want to…   
I wanted to take my own life…   
take their own lives...   
"GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF HARRY" the switching stopped at the voice.  
It was Niall's voice. I sat up and looked at him. He was sitting there, smiling perfectly at me.  
"Niall!" I said, jumping up and hugging him.  
"How did you get here?" I asked.  
"It doesn't matter Harry, just know I'm here."   
I shifted again.  
"You should do it. Kill yourself" a non-real voice whispered in my ear. It kept repeating itself, so much so I broke down in tears.  
"Ni… I… don't want to be alive anymore…"  
"Me either." He had tears in his eyes. I couldn't even see the floor anymore it was covered in a dark liquid. This "liquid" sloshed on my feet and threatened to pull me down if I didn't run. So hand and hand we ran down the halls at midnight, crying violently. I didn't know or care if any staff were chasing us, I- no we- just kept running until we reached the top of the roof. I only saw Niall, the rest of the world was a black and red blur sinking all around me.  
"I love you Niall, oh god I love you so much," I said through my sobs.  
"I love you too Harry, are you ready?" He seemed so brave in that moment.  
"Yes." We held hands and together jumped from the 4 story building.  
Darkness closed in around me, forcing Niall away from me.

"Niall! I love you!" I yelled, but we'd already hit the ground.


	12. E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Niall's Perspective.

"What do you mean he's dead?!" I snapped at the lady at the front desk.  
"He… killed himself last night." I felt an onslaught of range  
"How could you let this happen?!"  
"I'm sorry Mr.Horan… I really and truly am"   
"Please… where are they keeping the body?"   
"Not here… it's..." she gave me a set of instructions.  
I followed them and met several investigators.   
I didn't care, I pushed them out of the way. They'd dressed him up for his funeral.  
"Sir, what are you doing?" One of them said.  
"This man… was my boyfriend… I… I…"  
"Are you Niall, by any chance?"  
"Yes."  
"His last words were 'I love you Niall' he seemed to think he was talking to someone"  
The heart I didn't know I had shattered in two, but I couldn't cry. I was numb, the short-lived joy of love, shattered and replaced with something, just as cold as sociopathy, with a hint of depression.  
"He was wearing a necklace when he died… may I please have it?" I said to the officer. He nodded and gave it to me. They weren't even going to bury him with it, how sad.  
I clipped it on my neck. I change my mind, it isn't girly, it's the toughest sign anyone can wear.  
I kissed his cold forehead.  
The investigators seemed disgusted, but I was so far from caring at that point. The service for him was next week, I probably wouldn't go. I'd sit down and get too drunk. Maybe, I'd see him.


	13. ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis's Perspective.

Zayn moved hospitals and got better by singing, each day he sang his pain away, until he had, become both cured and famous. He was the luckiest out of everyone. Although, he sometimes says he hears harmonies similar to Niall and harry's voices when he sings. He stayed in touch with me, it was nice.

Liam's funeral was a huge event, the boy had been quite popular on the internet.

I gave up my job. After failing 2- no 3 times as a therapist, what choice did I have? I helped people as best I could, but there was only so much I could do. Like Zayn, I went into music, I sometimes hear the harmony voices he talked about, but rarely.

Niall died 5 days later. He'd gotten drunk and into a fight with some people, they'd pulled a gun on him and he hadn't even bothered to run away. He let them shoot him. His last words were an apology to Harry. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise”  
The only 'will' he had, was a handwritten note he'd left on the fridge. It said “if anything bad should happen to me, I want my tombstone to say "Niall Styles", and to be buried next to Harry.”  
They put him next to Harry with his birth name. I felt bad, but I remembered something he'd said. Golden rings were completely binding in his mind. Before the bodies were buried, I put a golden ring on their left ring fingers and laced their hands together. I also clipped the locket around my neck as a reminder, as a reminder of my failures, and their love. Because, in this cruel twisted way, they were likely happy.   
At least now, they can love, despite the cruel fate.


End file.
